Your status will be changed to “Dismissed” on July 17, 2012……

June 3, 2012

On July 17, 2006, I was admitted to a doctoral program at Nova Southeastern University.  At that point in my life I was winding down my lobbying business and was a finalist for a “C” level role at a prominent local health care facility.  I remember telling my wife the shelf life for these type senior roles was 3 – 5 years and I wanted to be prepared to transition to life in academia as an exit strategy. I already had a MBA/MHA and was hoping a DBA would cement my future allowing me to teach or consult as I walked off into the sunset of my career. 

                                  During the 6 years while I was studying for the DBA:

  • I wasn’t offered the “C” level job I thought was a slam dunk
  • My finances went into a tailspin since most of my clients were affected by the sinking economy
  • I lost my home of 15 years since the “equity” I thought I had disappeared like sand through my fingers
  • Sent my daughter off to college to Los Angeles without the financial resources to support her
  • Moved my wife and youngest daughter into a 1,000 square foot apartment – 3,500 feet smaller than what they were used to
  • Spent 18 months underemployed – teaching college classes when available
  • Was on unemployment – something I thought I would never have to do
  • Started a new career – reinventing oneself is easier said than done
  • My marriage survived.  Thanks to the omnipresent Grace of my Lord and my God and the wonderful support of my brothers and sisters of our Emmaus Group
  • And kept a 3.75 GPA throughout the entire DBA program leading up to the last course required

And that’s when the wheels fell off this armored truck I had been driving for the past 6 years…. The last course was offered by an instructor that exemplifies the frustrated academician – without a life outside of the ivory tower.  I’ve tried not to sound like my 12 year old daughter whining about teachers she dislikes.  The difference is I have a classmate that could not believe the obvious discrimination and badgering this instructor showed towards me.  After all was said and done, she gave me a failing grade based on capricious and subjective grading.  After 6 years of doctorate level statistics, operations theory, logistical planning and qualitative and quantitative analysis – she flunks me on the simplest course on organizational theories…

The Nova program has a 6 year window – concluding on July 17, 2012. The failing grade, my first since kindergarten – puts me in academic probation.  Typically you have one year to retake the class and get out of probation.  But since the program window ends this July 17th,  I cannot retake, so….. I received a letter stating:

                             Your status will be changed to “Dismissed” on July 17,  2012……

I’ve blogged about God’s Perfect Plan.  And how difficult it is to discern what he wants from us.  But this is a really difficult pill to swallow.  I’m trying not to let my ego show its ugly face – On one side I’m pissed and defiant, on anther I’m embarrassed, on another I’m depressed and yet on another side I am very, very confused.  

I know God want us all to be successful and joyful and for our lives to be bountiful.  I also know a Catholic life does not call for us to be patsies in the face of adversity or obstacles. I will pursue all administrative and legal options left to me.  But what a body blow to my plans. I hate the fact that I will have to spend positive energy and very limited financial resources on litigation.

                                                                 But what else to do……?


God’s Plan is perfect…. Why is it so difficult for us to trust in Him?

May 31, 2012

          Discernment:  The ability to be able to grasp and comprehend what is obscure….

So the story goes a man was on top of a house escaping the local river overflowing to epic proportions…. He prayed to God to be rescued….Shortly thereafter a fireman in a row-boat drifted by and offered to take him in…The pious man replied:  no thanks!  The Lord promised to save me…. Then a helicopter swung by with an army reservist and pleaded for the prayerful man to jump on board…but he replied again:  leave me alone!  My Lord promised to save me….. Well, as the faithful man reached the pearly gates he complained to the Lord and said:  you promised to save me!  And the Lord admonished him by saying:  Why are you complaining!  I sent you a row-boat and a helicopter! 

We men are trained to be hunters since the caveman days.  We are sent out to the world to chase the dinosaur, kill it and bring it back home.  So it’s tough to balance the need to provide for one’s family, while relying on God’s plan….Yet there lies the perfect Catholic life.  That balance is what brings harmony and repose to our lives.   As we get closer to our Lord and lay our concerns, worries, plans and dreams on the foot of His cross; our worries melt away because we know He has a perfect plan. 

For the past year I’ve been praying to St. Joseph for his intercession to bring more financial stability to my life.  I’ve placed my financial concerns at the foot of  our Lord’s cross and have been at peace with my current employment situation.  Then out of nowhere I receive another employment opportunity for more money.  What to do?  Was this the rowboat and helicopter from the Lord answering my prayers?  Or was the Evil One confusing me and dangling financial temptations my way? I interviewed with the other employer as my life depended on it …I went to hit a grand slam and shortly thereafter received a job offer….

             Discernment:  The ability to be able to grasp and comprehend what is obscure….

Well, a pay increase in certainly not obscure!  But the intangibles sometimes are………  Because I try to be in the spirit by attending daily Mass, stay in community with my Emmaus brothers and trust in His plan, I was able to discern what He wanted me to do….The other job would have kept me in an office 12 hours a day for more money. While at my current employer I am traveling within the community and have ample room for professional growth….I can also spend more time with my younger daughter, after having squandered that opportunity with my oldest….all important intangibles that after all…. are not that obscure! 

I met with my boss and explained I had another offer  – but that it was my choice to commit to his vision for his company.   He certainly appreciated the loyalty; loyalty that he had shown me before and I know he will show again in the future…

The Lord wants his children to live happy and prosperous lives as long as the daily focus is on serving Him. I am convinced discernment involves feeling good inside about the decisions we make.  If the decision made is to serve Him and not our own desires, it will feel good and you will feel at peace!  Right now I feel good and am at peace and will continue to trust in His Perfect Plan for my life!                                                           

                                                                 in Deo confido