The end of the world with my brother Elias, lost in absolute darkness…!

December 21, 2012

So this morning at 5:30am our intrepid cycling club, termed the “B” team by our faster brothers and sisters, went on our morning ride.  This morning the B Team is down from our usual 3 riders to just Elias and I…. Our third brother doesn’t like to ride when it’s under 80 degrees or over 85 degrees or if it is a Monday or Friday…..! 

We began the year by riding 10 miles in an hour…  For those mathematically challenged, it works out to an average speed of 10 miles per hour.  The “A” team is quite concerned about that since they do around 25 miles in the same time span….  However,  now, by the end of the year, we are riding 14 miles in the same hours time!  I don’t know about you but in my book that’s progress…. Maybe by this time next year we can get it to 20 miles per hour…but I wouldn’t hold my breadth…. You see we do this more for the camaraderie of spending time with fellow Catholic men and the hope of losing a few pounds…Not necessarily with the idea of becoming Olympians…

Of course when we peddled off this morning our thoughts turned to the Mayan Calender predicting December 21st as the end of time….My 13 year old tells me that is because that’s when the calendar stopped…. except that recently the rest of the calendar was found behind someone’s sofa so life as we know it continues….

In order to boost our ride to 14 miles Elias and I bravely searched for a new route,  albeit in the darkness typical of Coral Gables streets before the sun comes up. So of course we get lost in a community we have lived in for many, many years…. You see instead of elevated street signs, the Gables has little markers on the ground level virtually  impossible to see in daylight, imagine in darkness!   

It is now heatedly debated who said what about having to go South when we needed to go North….  He mentioned something about checking our GPS but real men don’t do that… or so I claimed…  You see my brother Elias has a lot of wonderful qualities and like all of us he  has a few lovable personal characteristics as well… One of them is his ability to cry at a moment’s notice… So wanting to avoid that I relented and stopped and checked my GPS.  Guess what?  We were going the wrong way! 

And now you know the rest of the story as to how we got to 14 miles on the day the world was supposed to end!

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It’s so much easier to just drop off our daughter….

September 23, 2012

The shame of it is that we are one of the few parents, and the only in my daughter’s peer group, that already raised a girl….now 23 years old.  That doesn’t mean we didn’t make mistakes then and that we don’t now….But if I had that resource of experience and knowledge in my parental peer group, I would certainly try to learn from their actions and try to understand their rules concerning our 13-year-old daughters….

Sunset Mall was also the location of choice 10 years ago when our first daughter was 13.  She wasn’t dropped off without supervision until the beginning of 10th grade…..  It seems my now 13-year-old, just starting 8th grade,  is the only one requiring adult supervision while at the mall.  It’s so much easier to just drop her off and let her fend for herself with other 13 year olds… 

Mind you, Sunset Mall is in a challenging neighborhood and police patrolling the mall openly talk about gang problems, drug use and petty crime. Plus, there is enough peer pressure on young teens.  Having them fend for themselves in an anthill of other teens and young adults is an unnecessary pressure on their young psyches.  There are two variables going on here. One is that with a parent close by, basic human psychology states that the young teen will be more wary of her decision-making with a parent close by.  The other variable is that if something were to happen at least a parent is in close proximity.

Regardless, it is our choice as a parent to not leave her alone regardless of how tired we are.  Yes, it’s a hassle, yes, it’s boring for the adults and yes, we rather be doing something else.. But what about parental responsibility?  Instead of helping ourselves and working as a team, covering supervised mall trips, sharing drop-off and pick ups….We will be forced to have our daughter choose a different peer group…A group more in line with what we believe to be responsible adult actions.

For at least the remainder of this year. my wife and I will go to the mall with our 13-year-old and have an old fashion date night.  That way we share some one-on-one time with each other and are there for our daughter as well….

Hopefully one day she will understand and appreciate the tough choices we make.  These choices however, shouldn’t be made tougher by parents that should be part of our support network….

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Angel, Mario and Eduardo – the end of an era. May they rest in God’s glory!

August 17, 2012

Three best friends, one dream…. Now they are all gone. My father, the youngest of the three, was under the tutelage of the two older cousins; one whom I called my uncle.  When the United States invaded the Bay of Pigs, before President Kennedy lost the little backbone that he had,  the three of them had pivotal roles preparing for the invasion.  Angel and Mario were able to escape to Miami and evade Castro and Guevara, who were on a murderous rampage.  Eduardo, in charge of the CIA radio operations for the invasion was caught and served 18 years in one of the cruelest prisons known to mankind.

They ninicknamed him “El Abuelo” because he was older than all the other prisoners of conscience.  He became part of the original group of “plantados” nicknamed because of the way they stood firm against their jailers.  One of the plantados would later on become the Ambassador to the United Nations Human Rights Commission named by President Reagan;  a president with backbone to spare…. Ambassador Valladares wrote a tell all book of the horrific experiences of Castro’s jails:  “Against All Hope”.  It is a riveting account of these prisoners being abused physically and psychologically. Forced to go naked for months on end.  Sent to the firing squad then fired at with blanks. Sleep deprivation and lack of medical attention were the least of their problems.

Mario continued on the CIA payroll in Miami in charge of finances and benefits for those heroes that survived Kennedy’s betrayal.  My father Angel was an exemplary man as a father, husband and man of faith. A lawyer in Cuba, in Miami he washed dishes and worked odd jobs until he became a social worker. At the pinnacle of his governmental career he was named by then Florida Governor Ruben Askew as the Director of the Cuban Refugee Program; the largest of its kind in the nation. Meanwhile, Eduardo spent his most productive years in Catro’s hellhole. 

I remember like it was yesterday the day Eduardo was released then was flown to Miami. He walked into our house to hugs, kisses and tears.  He looked at me and asked my father if I was the one destined to become a priest! Eduardo’s psyche was intact and his spirit as as strong as ever.  Mario and my father Angel both passed away years ago.  Eduardo carried the torch for both of them and for all those in exile praying for a free Cuba.  We spent weekends suffering the Dolphins and weekdays lamenting the free fall of the Marlins….He was ever presnt at all our family affairs

I found out a few weeks ago that Eduardo was suffering from a blood disorder.  I had the good fortune of spending some time with him just two days ago.  This morning, Mario’s son, my cousin, called to tell me of Eduardo’s passing.  If I am fortunate to get to Heaven and even more fortunate to be able to quiz our Lord at that time….I will ask why men of God leave us so early while those that serve the devil tend to stick around for so damn long….

I know that the three cousins are now together and enjoying our Lord’s everlasting glory.  I pray that their dream of a free Cuba comes sooner rather than later and that their years of fight and determination are rewarded.  Eduardo’s passing brings to an earthly close the friendship of the three patriots that I knew and loved. It is up to my generation and that of my two daughters  – to contine the good fight…. Angel, Mario and Eduardo:  La Patria Los Contemplas Orgullosos….

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Oswaldo Paya, RIP. Cuban, Catholic and Corageous….

July 24, 2012

I’ve admired Cuban dissident and practicing Catholic Oswaldo Paya for a number of reasons.  Not the least of which is that he decided to fight the good fight from within the iron shackled island instead of from the comfy land of exile. Paya was apparently silenced by being run off the road while driving in a remote section of Cuba.

Paya founded the Varela Project; named after now venerated Cuban priest Felix Varela.  Varela lived through the Spanish occupation and was credited for teaching Cubans how to think for themselves; independently of the Spanish Crown. 

The Varela Project collected signatures across the island in order to show the communist government a desire from the people for a new democratic and socially responsible constitution.  The petition was turned into the government never to be heard of again……

I spoke to a recent arrival and was told the vast majority of Cubans never heard of Paya and even less of the Varela Project.  Fewer still have heard of the Cuban Blogger Yoani Sanchez; whose blog is read by millions around the free world.   It is sad to think that in 2012 an entire society, only 90 miles away from the Southernmost point of the United States, lives in total darkness.  There is only one official radio station and television station and one newspaper. 

The Arab Spring had one major denominator that had a direct causal effect on their victory over a totalitarian government:  a vibrant internet community.  Twitter and Facebook played a dominant part in allowing the dissident movement to communicate their plan amongst each other.  Yoanni Sanchez hides in touristy internet bars in Havana while transmitting her most inner thoughts.  The ten million or so Cubans left in Cuba are forced to fend by themselves while the marxist government controls every aspect of their lives. 

Let’s pray that the heroic Cubans fighting from within find a small crevice to hold on to as they climb the wall of inevitability; a democratically elected government where freedom of speech and religion are in the forefront.  Paya’s dream will be fulfilled and Yoanni will be able to sit on the malecon in the open and blog to her heart’s content!

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Family vacation and Mass….Not mutually exclusive!

July 9, 2012

As we were nearing our destination of our first road trip this summer, we passed by a Catholic Church. My backseat was filled with two,  just turned teen girls and my daughter, a soon to be teen. As I was focused on finding the hotel my daughter stated, as a matter of factly, that we were passing a Catholic Church and one of her friends asked me to drive slowly to see what times the Masses were on Sunday! 

Now, I shouldn’t have been surprised and was in fact very proud that my wife and I apparently got through at some level to our daughter!  And it speaks volumes of the upbringing the parents of her two friends had done.  But I was surprised at this brief moment of religious clarity on their part.  I had spent 3 hours hearing the latest music, most of it sung by the three at the highest possible decibels, listening to gossip on boys and of course the requisite whining on material items they wished they had.

But at that specific moment they had a beautiful pause, albeit it for a brief instance, to wonder about Mass times!

I remember not too long ago on my walk how Mass was reserved just for Sundays and when we took  a vacation, it wasn’t only from work or school – but also from other “responsibilities” like Sunday Mass.  

One of the first things we  have done for years, is to seek out a local Catholic Church close to the area we are vacationing in.  It has always been a wonderful experience.  We learn about the universality of our religion and enjoy the different cultural differences each community has to express in a Catholic Mass.

In this past Sunday’s case the priest was there to greet each family before the Mass as they entered; not afterwards like at our parish.  This parish has the custom of having all parishioners share in the Blood of Christ as well as in the Eucharist.  We all share in the same faith but it’s really interesting to see how different faith communities worship  – while still staying within the parameters set by the Catholic Church.

We had a wonderful, relaxing and fun vacation, including a spectacular sunrise enjoyed from our room every morning.  The least we could do was to take an hour to thank our Lord for the wonders he has given us, as well as to thank Him for the opportunity to vacation as a family…. 

As this summer starts I hope we all share the same Mass opportunity with our family.  I am listing below a link to be able to find a Catholic Church and Mass times in whatever area you are vacationing.  Just input the zip code of the area you are visiting. Make this a natural part of vacation planning for you and your family!    www.masstimes.org or 734-794-2100.

                        Sunrise at Melbourne, Florida

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Prayer chains….Please not again!

July 1, 2012

I chose you because I know your are a prayerful man….send this request to 15 others within 30 minutes and your life will change for the better….you will be rich! Your problems will be over!  Your family’s health will improve!  Napoleon won wars using prayer pigeons!

These type of modern prayer chains drive me up a wall.  And what makes it so much worse for me is when I receive them from practicing Catholics!  Since when do those of us that practice our faith need voodoo, or black magic or prayer chains to make things happen in God’s kingdom?  Is not God’s plan for us already perfect?  Do we tell Him, yes I belive but just in case….  let me make sure I help manipulate Your plan for my life….Because I really don’t believe and just in case…..

I know many of us are in difficult positions with financial issues, family or personal challenges and general questions concerning God’s plan for our life.  I know sometimes we feel we have to resort to whatever is available to help us get out of the maladies affecting our lives.  But as practicing Catholics we should resort more to the Eucharist and deep personal prayer to understand what God’s plan for us is. 

When we least understand is when God is working miracles in our lives. This process of discernment can only be effective when we quiet ourselves in front of the Lord.  Prayer chains are just unnecessary noise, dependence on false forces that do nothing to improve our spiritual lives. On the contrary,  as practicing Catholics we confuse those that may look up at us for insight in their faith.  By asking for special formulas we are telling them that God’s plan is not perfect and that if we don’t fulfill the chain His plan will not work!

In our Emmaus community we have a group of men and women prayer warriors that routinely stop what they are doing during the day to respond to prayer requests from fellow brothers and sisters.  Now that is a powerful force showing what community prayer can accomplish!  There are no formulas, hoops to jump through or chains…just good old fashion prayer for one in need…. 

Whenever in a personal crisis of faith or in need of a recovery of illness or when a loved one needs prayer…..write us at:  littlefloweremmaus@gmail.com.  We will show you how prayer warriors trump prayer chains every hour of the day!

                                   ad maiorem Dei gloriam

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Sorry guys….but I love my wife!

June 29, 2012

Driving along with my wife SHE noticed a bumper sticker that said:  I Love My Wife!….  So of course I murmured something under my breadth aimed at the guy driving in front of me and she cooed about how romantic the guy probably was… Of course he could have been a wife beater - but the bumper sticker elevated him to saint status.

In my younger years I would have dismissed that episode and not though about it again….but only after catching up to the guy and telling him he wasn’t doing any of us married dudes any favors….

But after being married 27 years on this 4th of July I’ve learned quite a bit – and usually the hard way!

My wife and I have been through many ups and downs with most of the downs being my fault.  She has stuck through thick and thin, through wealthy and poor and through the passing of both our parents.  We raised one girl now 23 and are ATTEMPTING to raise a soon to be 13 year girl/woman to be….

So what do you get a life partner who has stuck with you for so long and who has, fortunately for me, never been a materialistic person?  Yes, I am very dense about these things sometimes - but this time I got it!  Yes, my brothers, I know you will be very jealous of me…So go out and get your own sticker!

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